it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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