We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
