would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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