I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
