Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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