thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
