I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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