Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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