Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
