So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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