So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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