ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
