went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
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