Duck Duck Cougar?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
