I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize