When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Enjoy the penises
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
