THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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