The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
