my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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