You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
