I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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