My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
