Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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