***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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