I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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