is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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