But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
dude i'm inner monologue high
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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