If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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