i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize