Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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