i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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