did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
