why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize