i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
