i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
