why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
