Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
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