Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
