How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize