road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Found the puke drawer
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
