planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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