my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
