So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
