I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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