he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
