oh god the rape fog is back!
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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