The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
