haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Nicole vs. Life
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
