I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He felt like a one man threesome
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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