I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
