i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
