It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
