Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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