It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
