My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Randomize
