I cockslap morals
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
