We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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